The Highest Quality


Examples of absurd behavior based upon the need for affirmation from others is endless. Pervasive social media is nothing but. The current President is, obviously and painfully, in constant need of applause and adulation. In the workplace, it can be ugly. You can be assured that much of the epidemic of anxiety is driven by the same need. Why?

Why do you care what others think of you? Why allow yourself to be so wrapped up in something so totally outside of your control? Are you really that unsure? The better question may be: are you really that ignorant? You must recognize the opinions of others are rooted in just that… ignorance. They don’t know you at your core. They don’t know your motivations and hopes and dreams. They don’t know your values and priorities. And they don’t need to. They’re yours.

Abraham Maslow, the brilliant psychologist (think Hierarchy of Needs), offers guidance on this topic: “The highest quality that a human being can reach is to be independent of the good opinion of others.”

The highest quality. He doesn’t state that it’s a good idea. He doesn’t say it’s preferable. He states that, with regard to your self-actualization as a human being, there is nothing greater that you can achieve than to be indifferent to what other people think. Good lord…

And the thing is… you know this already. Profound quote or not. You know, somewhere at your core, that you don’t need such affirmation. That the standard you really need to meet is your own. Because you do know your motivations and values and priorities. Is it easy? No. Ideals never are. But worth your awareness and effort. Absolutely. And one more thing… be careful with your ignorance. You form unflattering or adulatory opinions of others all the time based upon very limited input. It’s just the other side of the coin. Again, awareness and effort.

There’s a quote, in various forms and attributable to many, that states that we often spend money that we don’t have to buy things we don’t need to impress people we don’t like. I suppose it applies here, as well. Whether your emotions or your money, don’t readily hand them over to people that don’t deserve them and haven’t earned them.

Pursue the highest quality… and recognize the standard you need to meet is your own. 

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