Fighting Beside Seneca

I have never been a “follow your passion” guy. Frankly, that seems like such a privileged, first-world notion. As much of the world (now & throughout history) struggles merely to survive, we tell young people, with little education and no real-world experience, to figure out the most meaningful thing they have come to understand in less than 20 very self-centered years and then pursue it for the rest of their lives. Really? Don’t get me wrong, I think your work needs to be compelling, in some manner, and something that you can feel good about at the end of the day. But what happens when the mortgage payment is dependent upon that passion? Do you look at it differently? And what does that say about all the “blue collar” or service-related jobs that we all depend on, every day? Not worth your respect? Please… Graduating with a four-year degree, $40k in student loan debt, and no clear path to a job that will allow you a reasonable lifestyle is not noble, nor is it wise. It’s silly. An...

Examples of absurd behavior based upon the need for affirmation from others is endless. Pervasive social media is nothing but. The current President is, obviously and painfully, in constant need of applause and adulation. In the workplace, it can be ugly. You can be assured that much of the epidemic of anxiety is driven by the same need. Why? Why do you care what others think of you? Why allow yourself to be so wrapped up in something so totally outside of your control? Are you really that unsure? The better question may be: are you really that ignorant? You must recognize the opinions of others are rooted in just that… ignorance. They don’t know you at your core. They don’t know your motivations and hopes and dreams. They don’t know your values and priorities. And they don’t need to. They’re yours. Abraham Maslow, the brilliant psychologist (think Hierarchy of Needs), offers guidance on this topic: “The highest quality that a human being can reach is to be independent of the...

Owning your goals, obligations, and well-being is important. Teaching your children the same… critical. However, there is a key point that often needs to be made. You can’t do it all by yourself… Life simply doesn’t work that way. Real maturity is about recognizing your strengths and weaknesses; it’s about knowing what you can do and where you need help. And sometimes, it’s even about knowing what’s worth your time and what is not. When it comes to well-being, most (though not all) recognize that you need a doctor, a dentist, an optometrist. Maybe you need a mental health counselor or a spiritual advisor, maybe guidance at the gym, maybe lessons in healthy cooking. You need others with skills, knowledge, and insight to help you look after your health and well-being. How about finances? We work hard to get through college, often taking on loads of debt, so that we can then work hard to land a good job or build a business. And then… we work hard! All of this in the purs...

Criticizing others is easy. Finding fault seems, all too often, to flow naturally. And it’s ugly and small. Rarely do we actually understand the motivations of others. Rarely are they considering us as much as we think they are. Should we get something wrong, we think an “oops, sorry”, should be adequate. Surely, the other party must understand that we would never, intentionally, (insert whatever transgression here). But we can easily be convinced that similar actions by others border on the unforgivable. I’m not referring to the genuinely illegal, immoral, or unethical. That’s a different standard. (Usually… St. Augustine tells us that “an unjust law is no law at all”, but that’s for another day) But the daily hurts and frustrations and annoyances that we allow to impact our peace of mind. At times, we are truly astonished by the actions of others. Let’s say it’s the driver who almost cuts you off as they speed by. Maybe they’re rude and reckless. Maybe they have an emergency o...