Just Stop…


The theme of this blog is Vivere Militare Est… to live is to fight. Those words, written by Seneca, were a play on the phrase from Cicero that to live is to think. Well, I think we need to make a very specific distinction regarding our thoughts.

At times, thought is deliberate. We may find ourselves trying to solve a problem, considering something for which we are thankful, or otherwise be focused with our thoughts and attention. This is good, though getting more difficult with all the avenues of technological distraction. However, we all have a constantly playing soundtrack in our heads that is not at all deliberate. A fundamental fact of these thoughts is that we absolutely do NOT have to entertain them. Ugly, self-limiting thoughts flow through our minds and negative emotions begin to well up, but you do not have to accept them. Those thoughts and emotions are just that… they are not who you are. They are not real. Do not entertain them, do not relate to them, and they do not exist.

Here we are, well into the 21st century, and the same brain that was protecting hunter-gatherers from apex predators wants to protect you from… a minor work confrontation, the discomfort of a presentation, the awkwardness of striking up a conversation with a stranger, the pain of feedback on some work you created? Minor discomfort should not be confused with a charging saber-toothed tiger. All your brain knows, however, is that it must protect itself. Unfortunately, negative thoughts may lead you to avoid things that would help you grow, promote the procrastination that make them more difficult, or, worst of all, lead to anxiety.

The important thing is to recognize the BS for what it is… BS. Start there. Instead of accepting those thoughts and emotions, meet them with skepticism. Is this merely self-protection? Do I really get everything wrong? Am I likely to lose (insert whatever here) over this situation? It won’t take long for you to realize that you don’t need to entertain the BS at all. Focus on what matters and move on.

Most any engagement with meditation, contemplative prayer, mindfulness will help you learn to observe those thoughts and just allow them to pass.

Be an observer. A skeptical observer. And, please, stop believing the BS you tell yourself.

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