You’re Not Special


It’s normal that we appreciate our own challenges and achievements. Obviously, they are the challenges and achievements that we know best. However, that appreciation becomes a blind spot if we think of them as special. That appreciation may prompt us to pat our own backs, rather than say “thanks” where it’s appropriate, or fail to reach down to pull up others, or push as hard as we can against the next obstacle.

Odds are that whatever challenges you have faced in life, others have as well. And many have suffered more. Much more. You name it… the loss of a loved one, divorce (parent’s or your own), financial ruin, fear and loneliness. Not to minimize anyone’s particular hurdles, wouldn’t do that, but only to offer context. So much of the world (not to mention mankind throughout history) lives on less money, less food, has less freedom, and fewer choices. Yet we tend to compare ourselves to our friends and neighbors. We see all that they have and want it. We see the Instagram vacation photos and can’t help but feel envious. A colleague gets an undeserved promotion… a personal affront, of course. Because we have worked so hard. Had to overcome so much. No… these are not challenges. This is the way we shrink ourselves by comparing ourselves to everything but our goals and priorities. And some of those “challenges” are, in fact, our giving lip-service to our priorities as we choose to commit our time, energy, and effort elsewhere.

The same goes for achievements. There is nothing wrong with being reasonably proud of what you have accomplished. You should celebrate wins! This assumes, of course, a reasonable amount of gratitude for the help you’ve likely received. Even considering that… Have you worked as hard as you can? And where did you start? Again, not minimize anyone’s achievements, wouldn’t do that. However, do you know what is more impressive that the challenges you have overcome to achieve all that you have? Your potential. And the most exciting aspect of that potential? You have the freedom to choose what you will do with it. This is about moving forward, not looking back. This is not about leveraging what is “special” about you, but rather what is unique about you… your talents, experiences, interests, motivations. Very simply, you need compare yourself to no one! And who cares what’s behind you? You shouldn’t. You get to set your path, your way. Bear with me here… YOU DECIDE!

I’ve quoted Nido Qubein before and, on this topic, I must return: “Winners compare their achievements with their goals, while losers compare their achievements with those of other people.”

The reality is that your experiences are unique to you. Your strengths and weaknesses are unique to you. But not special…

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