Advocate for Yourself


I considered the title Rethinking “Selfishness”, but advocate is such a powerful word let’s go with it. I often refer to definitions because words mean things, and those things matter. It’s important to consider two here.

Advocate: to support the cause of; to speak or write in favor of

Selfishness: seeking personal advantage, pleasure, or well-being without regard for others

I have always been struck by the fact that when Jesus was asked which commandment was greatest*, he answered that “You should love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind”. He went on, “The second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself”. As yourself! Not that loving your neighbor is always easy, but Jesus’ working assumption here is that you love yourself! Prefer Buddhism? Fine. Buddha said, “You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection”. Maybe philosophy is your thing. In the Enchiridion, Epictetus states, “How long are you going to wait before you demand the best for yourself… If you are careless and lazy now and keep putting things off and always deferring the day after which you will attend to yourself, you will not notice that you are making no progress… remember that the contest is now”.

So how could you not support the cause of YOU? What does that mean? That means you look out for yourself physically, spiritually, emotionally. That means you work to become educated & informed, develop healthy & meaningful relationships, build a career that matters to you, pursue interests that brighten your life, and treat your time like it is precious. It means that you work to put yourself in a position to lift up others. It means that when you’re the one needing help, you seek it. It means that you are willing to accept discomfort to get better, learn more, achieve goals. It means that when life pushes you, you push back harder. It means that you work, every single day, on being the best YOU that YOU can be. And one more thing… Would you ever say to another the things you say to yourself? No. You would not.

I would never encourage anything in life be done without regard for others. Nothing. We are all interconnected through families, friends, communities, etc. However, that is the key distinction here… Loving yourself and advocating for yourself should not and, certainly, does not have to be done without regard for others. But to use the selfishness definition above… seeking personal advantage, pleasure, or well-being. Yes… Education (in all forms) is an advantage. Healthy interests and helping others are of great pleasure. Caring for yourself and seeking help contributes to your well-being.

If you don’t advocate for you, who will? Go on, love your neighbor… as yourself.


*Matthew 22:34-40, Mark 12:28-31, Luke 10:27

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